You’ve heard it all before: college is where you make friends to last a lifetime, where
you find the people you truly mesh with and who help you understand yourself more.
That is to an extent true: I’ve met some of my best friends in the world at college—
people who I can joke around and be myself with more easily than most of my friends
from high school. But what happens when one of these friends you’ve made, who you
thought would become a lifetime friend, decides they no longer want to be your friend?
Losing a best friend in college is hard, especially when you’re so far from home, where
you’ve become comfortable navigating all your prior disappointments and heart-wrenching moments. Your college friends have helped you to create a second home and for one of them to reject you after building such a strong connection is definitely a saddening shock to the system.
You can try to talk to the person to get some closure and to see the situation from their perspective: maybe you were the problem and they decided your actions were unforgivable. If this is the case, no matter how hard it may be, you have to accept it. Or maybe the other person was simply looking for an excuse to get out of the friendship. Maybe it was too exhausting for them, they found other friends or they just didn’t want to be your friend; either way, this is still something you have to simply accept.
Still, maybe they did an unforgivable wrong towards you that made you question the entire friendship. Maybe it even had you question who this person is that you had been so close with. Either way, you have to accept that you deserve better than someone who won’t treat you the way you deserve to be treated. If this is the case, it’s better now that the friendship is over, even if it presently feels very much like the opposite.
If you were the reason for the collapse of the friendship, then don’t simply make
excuses or become bitter (even though these are very natural, human responses).
Analyze your past harmful behaviors and amend them; growth is an integral part of your
college experience and of figuring out who you are and what you want to do with your
life. If they were looking for an excuse to just stop being friends, recognize that
sometimes friendships simply run their course: it could be for the best, no matter how hard that is to fathom right now. If your best friend suddenly became a stranger, be grateful for the good memories you were able to cultivate with them, but find the strength to recognize your own worth. You don’t deserve someone who isn’t who you thought they were.
Losing someone you were so close to and used to spend hours talking and messing
around with is difficult not only in life but especially in college: when you’re in that strange, vulnerable limbo between a dependent teenager and a self-sufficient adult. But as with all things, time and reflection will help you get through it. Also, the help of friends who you still can be
yourself with and still see you as lifetime friends will be beneficial in realizing your own
worth. If you have to go through the experience of losing a best friend, use it as an opportunity to
grow and don’t let it stop your progress during this pivotal time in your life.
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